I have a confession to make. I am not a huge fan of the TV show Friends. I may lose readership over this confession, and given my current stats, this may mean that I will be writing for an audience of 1.

Perhaps it is because I am not a fan of Friends the show, but I never paid attention to the fact that they all lived in these monstrous apartments in New York City and didn’t have jobs that would be conducive to them. Now, before you start with the angry letters, I know that this was somehow addressed— someone’s grandmother had the apartment and it was somehow given rent protection or whatever they do in that God-forsaken, rat-infested place called New York, but that is beside the point of this blog post. Apparently, there is a thing called the “Friends Effect” where people seem to think that living in an apartment of that size in New York City and working as a chef is totally doable so long as you have a barista roommate to split the cost with.

Look, I know Friends has been off the air for a long time (20 years?!?!) but the issue is still relevant today. We hear what our friends are up to (or more appropriately, we see— as in on social media and automatically think that is the reality and you are missing out. We all know that person whose social media feed starts with them working from their bed with a laptop and perfectly coiffed hair, then having a “business lunch” with six 20-somethings each with margaritas in hand and designer handbags conspicuously in view before punching out 3 after leaving the gym and talking about how productive a day they had.

But this isn’t limited to just that one anomaly, is it? If we are to believe our social media feeds, ALL our friends are all making twice what we are, working half as many hours, and doing most of that at home or Starbucks. And they must have the latest iPhone because that TikTok of them showing the spacious office they never have to go into was super clear.

Look, I am not knocking these people. I have some friends whose posts are similar to this, and to be honest, what they post is legit (not that I have stalked them or anything), and I have to chalk this up to talent, career choices, and luck. But I also know that for every legit poster, there are countless that are, um, exaggerating… Don’t make career moves or evaluate your personal success off of this. Don’t evaluate yourself against others because everyone has their own motives – which is usually to gain more followers, but the underlying reason for this is to make themselves feel better. So, take my advice and fill your feed with dogs. You can’t go wrong there. Need some suggestions? Your local humane society or SPCA is a good place to start. And yes, I did work for one of these organizations some years back, though I am not directly affiliated with them now – other than the occasional donation and a whole lotta likes.

So, my closing thought is this, and it is really directed more to me than anyone else – as we go into 2025, why not focus on what is important to us while celebrating in our online friends and colleagues’ wins and join them in grieving their losses?